The Oldie Pages

Saturday, July 31, 1999: Stormy

Ugh... I feel like hell. my vision seems sort of uneven and I slept poorly last night. I got home at around 3:30 and didn't manage to fall asleep until 4:30 am. Then I woke for an hour at around 5:30 or 6:00 am. I had a very unpleasant dream that woke me. It has faded a bit now but it wasn't good.

~ Last night's wedding went really well. Afterwards we loaded all the gear out and DJ Dan and I waited for Rod. He drove DJ Dan home first and we had to fight our way through the Carabana revellers traffic jam.

11:45 am... It is pouring rain. And some how I welcome it. I woke at 10:30 am or so to a thunder storm. The sky was a smokey dark, then there were flashes of lightening and rumbles of thunder... Then the rain came. It sort of stopped for a bit. Long enough for me to walk over the the GFM. Now... I await my breakfast.

~ I had all these weird deja vu's lastnight while I was DJing. And some of them were long. One lasted about 15 minutes, right through a whole set of music. It was hard to stand.

~ I'm still hungry. hmmmm.

Waterboys on the CD player. Someone with an annoying laugh behind me. The sun is out and now it's getting humid. I was going to go to the Rooster today but... I'd rather come here. The Rooster reminds me too much of last summer.

Tonight I DJ out near the airport. Some Portaguese wedding. I'll be provided with a translator! That might be interesting. I'll be glad when it's over. And I won't have to DJ for two weeks. Monday is also a civic holiday so that will be good.

~ Sandy has got a new fridge. Sunniva is going away this month to Quebec or somewhere.

JLK left a message on my phone machine last night asking how I'm getting up to Kingston for Drew and Carean's wedding. I wonder if her and Goatboy are on the skids again. Man, that's tiring.... zzzz....

1:00 pm... The cacklers have left.

Money worries. I need a new job. Maybe I need to go to Manila.

Friday, July 30, 1999: Fantasy Farms

Justin M showed up last night at the GFM and hung out. I was in a bad mood but hanging out with him, Sandy's generous 3 decker BLT, peppermint tea and extra-strength Tylonal turned my mood around. Sandy sat outside with us for a bit which was nice.

2:00 pm. Rod and DJ Dan are supposed to pick me up at 3:30 pm for this DJ gig at Fantasy Farms. ech... I wish I didn't have to do it or tomorrow but I need the coin. And next weekend is Drew and Carean's wedding in Kingston so... I need to do it. I guess tonight will be easy enough. DJ Dan will also be at the Farms. Tomorrow night is down town. I don't know where yet.

Thursday, July 29, 1999: Bad Eye

My skull feels like it is going to explode. And even with a contact in I can't see as from my right eye.

I worked until 7:00 pm. Afterwards Carlos the Jackass took us to "The Big Easy". My skull was throbbing so I didn't last long. I walked to GFM, then went home, changed and showered and now I am back here. Tired and hungry.

Wednesday, July 28, 1999: Need Water

GFM... I am here now. If I could be anywhere in the world it would be here.

~ I worked until 9:00 pm tonight. I did well. After work Chris Rogers, a NFG named Mike and I went to Crocodile Rocks. It was the usual - too many beers, each beer making everyone around me drunker, and each beer making me less interested in watching them. Eventually I bailed out and took the long and pleasant walk up Beverly to Bloor and over to here.

Now I'm here.

Water, I need more water. And more and more and more and more and more and more and yes... More!!!
Water... cool clear water (water)...

That's what I need.

I swear if I drink a camomile tea I'll fall asleep instantly and float away on a magic raft. Space Walk S, where are you??!

later...

Sitting on the little chair by the back door. Looking up at the sky. An amazing sky tonight. It looked like thunder but it seemed to pass us by. Sunniva came out and rubbed my neck and head... My goodness... Then left.

Now the lovely Sunniva is closing. There are a few folk left... like me... My tea is too hot to drink fast.... So I have to endure Bruce Cockburn's music. Gag.

Tuesday, July 27, 1999: Long Day

Ugh... What a long day. I was up at 7:00 am to get up to Dr. Salsberg's for 8:30 am. I ran into John Devonish on the way. Being in North York is always weird. So many memories. Yet it's as far away from where I live now as those days are from today. Strange.

Work was rough. At 5:00 pm Chris Rogers and I went to The Rockit and had a big pitcher of beer between us. Hanging outside in the sun drinking lifted my spirits some what. We eventually went back to work and I had more luck. I walked home at 7:30 pm. I had a shower and dubbed some music.

Now it is 11:50 pm at the GFM. I am having a tea.

~ My eye doesn't hurt as much as it did yesterday. I was sort of down most of the day. Hungry and grumpy. Now I'm just tired. I DJ Friday night and I have a wedding to DJ on Saturday. Need the cash. It will get me through the week.

~ Sunniva and Sandy are on tonight. I guess I'm feeling a tad bit blue from my lack of funds, lack of food, lack of sleep, lack of The Bean.

I am wearing this ridiculous freaky shirt that Sandy bought me at a garage sale for 2 dollars as a joke. Somehow it works though.

I feel guilty for feeling down today. I shouldn't feel that way. It's hard with Mom and all. The weight of debts...

~ Richard F and Lynda broke up. That has been coming. He can do better, but it's hard to watch him hurt.

Kim is away in Europe somewhere. I hope it works for Justin and her. I'd hate to see him get hurt. I don't want to watch him go through that.

TOM WAITS CLOSING TIME IS ON THE CD PLAYER... Mind you, I put it on. It is sort of melancholy but it cheers me up... My eyeball hurts. Time to go but I don't want to.

Tuesday, July 27, 1999: Long Day

Now it is 11:50 pm at the GFM. I am having a tea.

~ Sunniva and Sandy are on tonight. I guess I'm feeling a tad bit blue from my lack of funds, lack of food, lack of sleep, lack of The Bean.

I am wearing this ridiculous freaky shirt that Sandy bought me at a garage sale for 2 dollars as a joke. Somehow it works though.

I feel guilty for feeling down today. I shouldn't feel that way. It's hard with Mom and all. The weight of debts...

~ Richard F and Lynda broke up. That has been coming. He can do better, but it's hard to watch him hurt.

Kim is away in Europe somewhere. I hope it works for Justin and her. I'd hate to see him get hurt. I don't want to watch him go through that.

TOM WAITS CLOSING TIME IS ON THE CD PLAYER... Mind you, I put it on. It is sort of melancholy but it cheers me up... My eyeball hurts. Time to go but I don't want to.

Monday, July 26, 1999: Eye Ball Problems

Oh boy. Was I hung over from Kevin Quain? YES. I should try and recount the night I suppose... But how?

Justin M and I went down to the Cameron House at 9:00 pm. Rob Booth (Justin's friend from the Morris Men) played fiddle with Kevin's "Mad Bastards". We sat with two friends of Rob's. We also sat by these three chicks who have been out almost every Sunday night. We call one "chokey" because she wears this strange spikey dog collar. She's not bad looking but looks a bit odd wearing leather gloves in 35 C degree heat. Anyways Chokey tried to establish some communication but it wasn't going anywhere as we couldn't quite follow what she was talking about.

The rest of the night was a big Guiness blur and we ate at Vesta afterwards. I had bad gut all day due the combination of Guiness, onion rings and a Vesta burger.

Oh yeah.

~ Today went okay work wise. My eye looks and feels worse. I called Dr. Salsberg and got an appointment for this afternoon. It was a long and sleepy ride up. Both Kerry and his Dad freaked out when they saw my eye. Their fear being that I had seperated the retna. After a lot of rather uncomfortable and painful tests it was decided that I hadn't and all that I had done was bruise the muscles in or around the eye, and something in the way of a broken blood vessel had bled into it. I have to go back at 8:30 am tomorrow (yuck) and I can't wear a contact in that eye.

I went back to work afterwards and stayed until 8:15 pm. I got a ride back up to the Annex with Mike W. I ended up at the GFM later. April and Malik were on shift. Justin M walked by so I chased him down and we sat out on the patio for a while. I had a peppermint tea and then came home.

Now it's 1:00 am and time to sleep. Goodnight ~

Sunday, July 25, 1999: First Page

1:20 pm. I woke up at 9:30 am today when Rod phoned me asking if I wanted to DJ for him tonight at 6:00 pm. I was exhausted from last night so I said no but I might take it. He's DJing a barbaque so I'll call him in a bit after I have eaten. Currently at GFM. I came over here at around 12:30.

2:00 pm. A yummy breakfast. French toast and bacon and fruit. Now I'm sitting under the "lightening rod tent" out on the patio. Just went across to the Dead Rooster and said hi to Gregg and Karen. Justin M convinced me that seeing Kevin Quain tonight is more important than making some cash DJing for Rod... and he's right.

~ My right eye hurts. Had a speaker mishap last night. Sandy just said "what did you do to your eye?" I looked in the mirror and it's all red on one side, like a broken blood vessel. I wacked myself in the right temple with a speaker last night.

Richard the Dopehead came and planted himself with Justin M and I and started pitching me to help him record a song. Then two of his shit-rat pals joined us. I felt like screaming "GO AWAY YOU SLOBS" at them. Justin looked really annoyed by them.

Saturday, July 24, 1999: Last Page

I half remember the walk to Sandy's. I was pretty much on the otherside. I crashed on this cot in Sandy's room and promptly fell asleep with just my jeans on.

Dreams!

I think I need a name for "that place". The town by the water. A lot of what I dreamed has faded now... But I remember certain things which are strong images. I was walking down the street and Doug Newby met me. He had been walking in the other direction. He told me several things. One was the importance of not being around unaccepting people. People who condemn or judge. And he stressed it over and over. How because of not having that policy I would open myself up to the wrong people. He said to be accepting of people but not to tolerate their judgements or take them to heart. It seems strange that it was Doug not Dad in the dream. But... then it was a word delivered in Doug's style. He talked about how that judgemental additude is totally negative and is damaging to one's soul. We learn not to accept who we are. we change who we are to avoid the judgements of others. We lose who we are. We become fat, sad, and old. We talked about the other things I've speculated on too. and a lot of what was said had faded now. But the feeling remains.

I woke up at 11:30 am. Sandy had been there it seemed as she'd left towels for me. I showered and walked back to GFM. Walking up it felt like I'd stepped into a new world. The feeling of being in that place still with me. the Sunlight and heat made me feel as if I was seven years old in Chilliwack on Fairfield Island. A sense of change and a new world in front of me. Or more as if I had returned to that place inside myself that existed when I was that age. Back when I knew I could do anything I tried.

~ I arrived here at around 12:00 noon. Sunniva and Sandy teased me about how they had taken pictures of me sleeping & dressed me up in Sandy's underwear etc. Sunniva asked me "why would you chose that cot to sleep on?"

4:45 pm... I don't have to DJ until 9:00 pm so I have to leave here at 8:00 pm, take the Tube over to Bay Street, then bus down to the Elmwood. I'll have to set up the gear though.

If I get back home by 1:30 am I'll sleep just fine. I have to go buy a new journal tomorrow as this one is finished.

5:05 pm... Just wolfed down a BLT. Justin M is supposed to come over. He's been working since 7:30 am. Here come Justin... This book is finished.

Friday, July 23, 1999: Sleepless

Hmmm... I got home last night at 3:30 am. I helped Sandy clean up and close.

Work today was okay. Getting paid was good. Justin had me phone in to Ticket Master and get some Tom Waits tickets. We ended up with 4 tickets, 2 for the 22nd of August and 2 for the 23rd.

10:45 pm... I wish I was sleeping right now. But how can you sleep with ten 18 year-olds in the room beneath you jumping up and down to 240 bpm drums and thumpy bass drums shaking everything in your house? You can't.

So you come back here. Where I am against all better judgement having a beer. Just one though.

12:00 Midnight.

How did that happen? I am so close to sleep that some how the patio closed down around me. Now I'm inside (too hot) and unsure of what I'm doing back here. Wishing I could go home but knowing the party is still on.

Sunniva is rolling u napkins & cutlery in front of me. Richard the Artist drinking red wine. Sandy is ... unseen. There are actually a lot of people here.

~ Since I've been soundscaping I've have re-discovered my belief in God. We lump God into some weird little book and say "this is God". The same book tells us how we can't even look on God's face with out being destoryed by the pureness and beauty of it. ~

Sandy has invited me to crash at her place while she's at Mory's. I said okay, and she's drawn me a litte map.

Do you dream different things in someone else's bed?

What was that dream I had at CRL's? I've missed her a little this week. Curling up with her. How she would snuggle into my arm and lay her head on my shoulder....

I don't know what to say.

Time is bead on a chain around God's neck.

Thursday, July 22, 1999: The Unspeakable Truth

Well... I had some violent dreams last night. Not in the classic "shoot em up" sense, but heavy in a spiritual sense. I haven't totally processed it. I surprise myself writing this down or even thinking this way again.

12:10 ~ Justin M showed up and we hung out at GFM for a bit, then scooted over to the Dead Rooster to visit Marika. 1 1/5 Guiness later I am back at GFM for a tea. I feel woozey.

~ I feel so safe here. The opposite of the dream last night. Sandy is fussing about in the kitchen. God, I have such a crush on her don't I? Funny how I am that way.

~ Stuff I like about Sandy ~

- Her brown eyes
- her big wonderful smile
- her deep laugh
- her super-hero arms
- her ability to have fun
- the way she jumps around when she's hyper
- her shoulders
- the muscles in her back
- her hair when it's down
- her gentle way
- her concern for people
- her little mole by her mouth

~ ... If I was a half decent artist I'd drawn you a picture...

Stuff I like about Sunniva

- her big amazing smile
- her 'awkward' way
- her amazing skin tone
- her subtle shyness/obnoxious forwardness
- her leggies
- her hair colour & texture
- her smell
- the gentle way she touchs
- how she calls everyone 'honey' and 'dear' and means it when she says it
- her goofy way when she's hyper
- her glasses
- her nose

So there you have it folks.

Wednesday, July 21, 1999: The Day Off

Well... Let me say that... Today is my day off. I don't have to work. i don't have to DJ. I don't have to rehearse. I don't have to do anything. And if I do something like clean or laundry it is because I am in the mood. It feels weird to not have to be anywhere.

~ Last night's gig went quite well. It wasn't super-high energy but we manage to go through all the songs with out any major screw ups. A few minor bad notes here and there but overall it went off without a hitch.

The sound guy's name was Bo, but he wasn't that guy who used to do sound for Reverb Girl and Feedback Boy. He was younger and skinny. We sound checked on "Mellotron" and part of "Old New" then tore down and Rich Brown's band set up. They didn't do a sound check really, more of a line check, then at 10:15 pm they went straight into it. They were sort of whining about the money aspect before hand because they'd rented a rehearsal space. I'm not sure why that was our problem. They agreed to pass an empty pitcher around for contributions. They did't offer to split the proceeds even though the bulk of the people there were ours. Typical band bullshit. Next time I want a solo act to open.

They got off and we were set up by 11:30 pm. Who showed? Peter Venuto, Toby, Chris Rogers, Mike Wilson, Colleen and Cesiclia from CJ. The CJ folk stayed to the end too.

Richard's brother Justin F and Catherine showed up as well as his friend from work who always videos us was out. Chris and Robin came out as did Gregg, Joanne and some guy who was with Joanne who seemed to be the expendable crew member.

Justin had a big crowd as always including Bobi Jo, Marika, the Sword Dancer, the chick from Sunday who's name I think is Emily. There were a bunch of others too.

We played;

Red Rocket (which went well)
Cyndi (which I love playing)
5/4 (which has no drums but is very spookey)
M Sun (which went well)
Dorky (which went better than normal)
Mellotron (amazing)
VMG (I make some mistakes)
Polyamorous (not as good as normal but I was tiring out)
Old New (not bad)
Buddy (quite well)
Here & Now (really well)
Jonah (I screwed up the beginning but the rest was fine)

Over all it went well. We each made a few mistakes but nothing really obvious. Paul the bar-keep guy said we can play any time.

I've always associated the Cameron with the death of Hansom Ned and the Three Blue Eyes song "Big Day at the Gloom and Doom"... Now it feels differently. Kevin Quain was milling about in the front before hand and with meeting Paul and Andy the Igor like server who's been there for 100 years it feels like... home in a way. When we were waiting to set up we sat out front and watched this woman teaching people to swing dance and jitterbug. She wasn't all decked up in the Gap khaki fashions or anything. In fact she just was in a t-shirt, a pair of overalls and runners. But she could really dance. It was amazing to watch.

Justin and I went up to Vesta Dinner after a failed attempt to get food at Insomnia with Richard. Vesta was greasy but Vesta is like a strange time porthole back to 1969. I swear if you went forward to 2050 it would still be there. If not that would be a sad thing. ~

I was disappointed that ELB didn't show up last night. And of course that The Bean didn't. Maybe The Bean will be back in my life in the Autumn. I can only hope.

~ JLK phoned. Apparently she had planned to show but Goat-Boy had to "work late" (go out drinking with his pals) and she couldn't find a baby-sitter. Oh well.
Corin also called an said he was sorry he couldn't make it.

Now it's over until the next one. Which I hope will be in late August.

~ 8:00 pm... Yes.... I'm still sitting at the Rooster on the patio. Sandy is back so I may relocate to the Moon soon. Tiff walked by and said "are you still here?" Yep. Because I don't have to move. No rehearsal, no work, no DJing, no dates, no chores, no projects, no songs to programme. Not a single thing to do. But sit here like a cat in the sun and enjoy that fact.

~ 10:15 pm... went home. Showered. Finally. I'm burned all red on my arms & my face. Now I'm sitting inside at GFM. It is good... All the usual silly stuff is going on. Sandy & Sandy are working and it's wonderful to see them...

10:30 pm Sandy just made me a wonderful BLT with 3 layers! mmmmmmm!!

Wednesday night in someone else's notebook... different environment to be sure... have to be more careful than in my little book. So, last night was the big Snowmelter show at the Cameron. Talk about different environments!

There was alot last night about being in other places... about being with people I knew when I first moved from Baltimore as opposed to the friends I've made here since. It's strange being somewhere long enough to have a history... oh I forgot it was someone else's book...

Justin M

Oh yes. I know the feeling my friend.

~ I'm tired now. ~

There was another message on my machine from Nicole in England. She's been calling alot. I wonder what's up with that? Strange.

~ I'm a litte afraid of what I see. So I try not to look. But I see it. I wonder how it will be. Close my eyes and let the dream unfold.

Monday, July 19, 1999: Forgotten Chicken

I went to the GFM yesterday afternoon at around 3:30 pm. I sat outside on the patio and was joined by Justin M after he was finished his shift at the Dead Rooster. Eventually Heather and Tiff joined us.

Sandy and Sunniva went up to Gravenhurst last night at 6:00 pm. Before they left Sandy opens up her purse and pulls out this weird little plastic chicken toy from a Kinder Egg and says "Is it okay if I take Henry with me?"

I couldn't believe it because it came back to me that I'd given that to her for "good luck' when I was REALLY drunk once. But it was one of those times when I was so drunk I can only barely remember any of it. Until she pulled it out I'd completely forgotten.

When I went inside to pay Sunniva was doing cash as usual. There was no one else in the restaurant and after she took my money and gave me my change she came around from behind the counter and gave me the biggest hug... and I was thinking... "this is odd..." Then she leaves and as I'm heading out behind her Sany comes in and does the same thing but gives me an even bigger hug. It was sort of weird. They're only going away for two days. Not that I'm complaining.

~ Practice tonight was good. Hot Hot Hot though. We went through the whole set sort of. "Melancholy Sun" has worked itself out.

After practice Justin and I went and saw Kevin Quain play. It was a good night. We got pretty drunk. His friend who's name now escapes me was there. I'd never talked much to her before.

I felt like shit today at work. Still ...

Met Toby for lunch at Pho. That was nice. I haven't seen her in a while. She's great. Definately a good person to have in my life.

I left work at 4:00 pm and took the Tube home. It rained today so it was nice and cool. Now it is beautiful out. Cool and perfect to sleep.

I was going to nap out when I got home but I programmed drums for Red Rocket and M Sun instead. Richard and the Justinator showed up at 7:00 pm and we went until 9:00 pm. I was so exhausted and burned out and hungry by the end. We went to GFM afterwards but only stayed until 10:00 pm.

Now I'm ready to sleep...

Sunday, July 18, 1999: Hot Weather

Sunday is my favorite day. The day I can relax (sort of). We rehearse tonight at 6:00 pm so I don't have the whole day. DJing went relatively well last night. I was pretty wound up afterwards. After I went to the Dead Rooster I went and got a falafel down on Bloor Street.

~ It feels like it is going to be brutally hot again today. Friday night's reheasal was unbelievable. The stuff of band legends. Like reheasing at "The Practice Pad" on College near Ossington with Wisehammer in the summer of 1988... When it was SO HOT and the only light in the place was this red bulb that made us feel like McDonald's french fries or apple pies.

Saturday, July 17, 1999: Fantasy Farms

NCL called from England at 5:30 am and woke me up. I'm not clear on what inspired her to to call me at that time, and I half remember her saying she wasn't coming back over this year which sucks. She always wants me to come over there but I don't have the coin for that. Afterwards I had sort of a weird sleep full of weird dreams.

~ 12:30 ~ Dead Rooster. I'm sitting outside on the patio in the extreme heat and humidity. There are clouds way up that look as though they could turn from nice white to rain but they're so far up. It doesn't feel like any relief from this is in sight for a few hours. ~

I DJ tonight at "Fantasy Farms" which brings me to the image of tiny people dressed as Lepricons walking Shetland ponies with fake unicorn horns glued to their heads. ~

Take back what I said about the rain. Suddenly the wind has picked up and it has grown darker. ~

Sandy and Sunniva were so insistant that I stop in. I'll head over in few minutes for a tea. Then it's home to sleep more and digest and at 4:00 pm begijn to get ready for tonight.

The DJ ruteen has established itself. The preperation before. Today I have to lug a box of CDs to the place which sucks. I'll take a cab from Broadview station.

~ GFM ~

"The Beautiful South" is on the CD player. This CD used to make me think of ELB. Now it is a total reminder of here. ~

Sunniva is all apologetic for being "grouchy" last night. I never noticed. Sandy just set an ice cream/brownie banana strawberry nightmare next to me. oh and bless her heart, she brought me an extra spoon...

~ 2:00 am. Black Rooster for last call. Just on Guiness. Tonight's wedding went by quickly. I was pitched by several drunken females. It rained and thundered at around 7:00 pm so it's not as brutally hot now. It's sort of quiet in here tonight. All the usual suspects seem to be here. Hotel California just came on. I hate this song.

Jesu is here... Red Sonya is here looking rough. Deloris the waiteress is smooching with the Ricky Martin wannabe guy by the pool table...

After this I'll walk home.

Friday, July 16, 1999: The Bean's Sister

~ 12:15... Back at GFM. Practice tonight was long. It was hot as hell too. But Mellotron sounds awsome with the drum loops and I'm very excited by it.

~ Sitting at the Dead Rooster earlier and who walks by but The Bean's Sister. She was sort of stand-offish although she came over and said "Hi". It was weird. ~

I had lunch today with Jeremy Brett which was good.

~ Now I feel sort of foggy. Tiff just walked by. I gave her two photos from her Birthday.

We played the 5/4 thing tonight. I figured out what I am to do vocally. I have lyrics for it. About the dreams I have about planes crashing. It makes sense.

Strange. Seeing The Bean's Sister. I think of The Bean nearly every day.

I'm fading time to go.

Thursday, July 15, 1999: Peter Venuto Soundscapes

Peter Venuto is soundscaping next to me. He's using a guitar, a Jamman - which I think has 8 seconds looping, and a computer. It's amazing... There is a guy on bongos but I'm trying to ignore that.

Some little kid is dancing around to the bell-like tones. Wonderful stuff. Peter is such a freak. Which is good. He's wearing this crazy silver shirt that makes him look like 'future guy". The kid jumps around him. She looks like a little alien.

The soundscape Peter has created is truly inspired. If only Bongo-Boy would shut up. There will be no bongos in heaven. Only in hell.

And speaking of HELL...

There was a message on my voice mail from REVERB GIRL wanting me to take photos of them. HA. That will be the day.

HURRAY! BONGO BOY HAS STOPPED.

Peter is running a beautiful loop right now. And he's letting it run while he takes a break. The joy of a beautiful sequence or loop. Circling like a big mobile of sound. Little notes dancing around together. Lovely. This is a good loop. Peter seems to go effortlessly into "that" place where inspiration comes from. I see that ability is mostly just relaxing and allowing the power to fall. He has it down to a fine art though. Truly an inspiration and an influence.

~ Meeting with ELB at lunch was odd. It was nice though. In some ways it feels better not dating her. As much as I like her. As much as I lust for her at times.~~

8:40 pm. I wonder how late I should stay. I don't think I'll be able to get to GRH's thing. I am hungry.

~ 11:15 pm ~ I stuck around until... 11:00 pm? How is that possible? The whole night was mildly magical. There were points of pure brillance and the bongo brigade would actually lock up and lock on. ~

Sandy meets with the Tax Clowns tomorrow at 8:30 am. She said "light a candle for me..." Candles aren't my style . but... I'm sure I'll come up with something. For this place to close... it would be a blow to the things that are good about this city.

Wednesday, July 14, 1999: Programming MC303

I was in a lot of grief today from my shoulder. I went to Signal to Noise and gave Ralph some cash. When I was there I asked Ralph about how Feedback Boy & Reverb Girl had said I was "dissing" them. He just looked at me horrified and said "Why would they say that?" So clearly Reverb Girl is full of shit.

I also picked up a roll of photos. Most of them were underexposed so I'm doubting the apature on my new lense. There were a few good ones though.

~ Last night after Sandy came back she insisted on "driving" me home even though I live a block away. It was sort of weird. Especially since she was driving Mory's car. Apparently Brainiac and her are officially an item.

I went to Dr B's today and it was a help. Still I'm sore. Kim A was working. She is fun to flirt with. ~

I got home at around 7:00 pm and soundscaped for about 40 minutes. Soundscaping is increasingly sacred/meditational in nature. I created a wonderful loop and let it fade out at 98% feedback, then took out my contacts, laydown while it droned and fell asleep.

~~~ The phone woke me. It was GRH reminding me her show is tomorrow. Peter Venuto's soundscaping show is also tomorrow so I will try to do both.
~

I programmed beats for the new song from 9:30 or so until 10:00 pm. It wasn't as hard as I'd expected. I laid it out in 'song' mode. The MC303 is quickly running out of room though, and I still have to programme beats for Red Rocket, M Sun, Buddy and Kaboke. When??? I can only slave over that thing for an hour or two in a spree. I hope the beats are okay. It's hard to tell sometimes if what I've done is total shit or not. Richard & Justin hated the Cyndi beats until they got used to it. ~

Sandy keeps talking about how I was here until 3:00 am and I helped out etc etc.... It makes me mildly uncomfortable. I'm not sure why ~

Anyways I'm supposed to see ELB tomorrow.

Tuesday, July 13, 1999: Notes From The GFM

A long day. A long rehearsal. A BLT and 3 beer. Justin and I sat out on the GFM patio.

12:40 am. I am drinking peppermint tea. Tonight I tamed the MS Guitar. I intend to use it exclusively on the 20th.

The GFM is full of cackling 20 year old girls and Derrek and the Dope-Smoken S-R's. And in my opinion those who would steal from Sandy.

My bad shoulder is hurting a lot today. The weight of the MS Guitar may be a factor. I think the Blue GR will be driving the GR 100 hence forth. Then that makes sense.

1:00 am. Sadny in all her glory is cutting fries. It seems so odd that someone of such quality is here at 1:00 am cutting fries.

Sandy is worried. The Province accessed her and wants 9000 bucks for her booze/sales tax. She hardly has THAT much business. She has to renew on Friday.

How can I help? If only I had the money. How can I help...

Could I create a soundscape so powerful that it would change the Universe so the GFM would always be a success?

2:15 am. Still here. Just helped Sandy clean up. The least I can do. Sandy forgot her keys to lock up so... I'm here alone... Guarding while she rushes home to get them.

Monday, July 12, 1999: Picking Up My Guitar

At lunch today I went to Songbird and picked up my guitar. And who's there talking to Al Beardsell when I come up the stairs to repairs but Peter Venuto. He'd brought in his Music Man Electric for Al to look at. It was a strange meeting of worlds in a way.

Afterwards Peter adn I went to Futures on Queen and had a drink. Then he gave me a lift to York & Adelaide in his giant old delivery van. "It's like the Millineum Falcon isn't it?"

It was the perfect extra to picking up the guitar.

It's weird seeing it actually finished. After how long? One year?

~ Malik and April are working. and some guy behind me is talking op talk. A pie, a pan, a poc and a poc...

How many big management words can you cram into a conversation? Words like "Visionary" or "Implementation", "Timeline' and "Dialog" my goodness..

~ I rushed home after work and plugged in the guitar. Holy Shit. The GR 300 signal is about 150% louder than the Blue GR guitar. In fact it is so much louder I'm going to have to rewrite all my GP-8 patches ... There are alot of GR functions the Blue guitar seems to do better but the signal is so weak. Maybe the stronger signal is from Al raising the HEX pick-up.~

And maybe it is the Blue guitar's GR electronics are all crappy...

I soundscaped after messing around with it a bit. I got an amazing loop going... took out my contacts and fell asleep while it droned away. i woke up at 9:30 pm and came here while I did laundry.

My laundry is done now it's camomile tea time with April.

12:00 Midnight

Time to go I think... It will be so busy between now and the gig.... I think I'll book the following Wednesday off just to relax.

And I still have so much to do. I have to program all the Groove-box parts for Red Rocket, Mellotron, Buddy, Melancholy Sun...

~ I spoke to ELB today. She's going to Barbados with Mr. Fixit for 4 weeks this weekend. She wants to get together before she does. She confuses me. She says one thing but it feels funny.

Sunday, July 11, 1999: Next Day

s und ry ? ju wy 11/999

in my shoe!!! ted says NO BODY CAN SLEEP!

only as far as sorrow carves into your soul is as much joy you can contain.

goodnight

1:15 pm.

The Police on the CD player ~

GFM! Lovely Sunniva & Queen Sandy busy as can be...

I am STILL drunk from last night. I will feel like shit later/tomorrow. Oh well. Last night's wedding was a huge success. They were great, they danced... They brought me gin & tonics that were 90% gin...

Afterwards I got home at about 1:00 am so I went to GFM but they were closing so I went to the Dead Rooster and made some new friends. Gregg. His freind Ted. And some girls. Joanne who wanted my number. Malissa who didn't. And Karen who's palce we all went back to later. I got home at 7:30 am. It was a crazy night up on the roof of Karen's.

~ Message from ELB on my machine. Her boyfriend's number on the call display but in her message she says I can only reach her on her cell. WTF.
I must admit just hearing her voice on my machine... errg.

Karen, Gregg & Ted just walked by on their way to the Rooster. Perhaps I'll visit them later.

My skull throbs. My mouth tastes like a trade show floor. A bee is trapped against the window trying to get out. Just like me. Beautiful South is on the CD now. This makes me thing of ELB too.

Saturday, July 10, 1999: Justin's Back

Work blows. If things aren't better by November I'm going to Manila. Maybe sooner in fact.

Justin is back from his trip to the States.

Last night Richard came over and we went through "Mellotron". He came up with some truly excellent parts.

12:45 ~ Sandy made me French toast with lots of fruit - strawberries, bananas, grapes and an orange... and bacon. It was super-yummy. I am still hungry though.

I have an easy DJ job tonight. I don't start until 7:30 pm which means I don't need to be there until 6:30 pm. And it's at Casaloma which is a 20 minute walk away. And they shut down at 12:30 due to some rules or other. So it should be okay. No big rush like last week. A strange thing how quickly the summer is passing by.

Justin is serving tables across the street at the Rooster.

Al Beardsell says my guitar is ready and I can pick it up Monday. The GR electronics worry me. Hopefully they'll work okay.

Last night we ate at Ralf's for the first time in eons. Llyod the Psyco was ranting across the street so i went over and told him to be quieter. Which worked. he continued ranting but not as loudly.

Thursday, July 8, 1999: Snowstresser

With the exception of lunch, today totally sucked. I went to Pho with Jeremy Brett. Conversation is always good with him.

Tonight I was supposed to have dinner with GRH but she cancelled at the last moment. I went back to Justin M's and fed the Cat.

Tonight I wrote Mom a letter for Anne to read to her. It was exceedly difficult to write. Two of the hardest pages I think I've ever writen. I am not sure how much of it she'll even understand. A very sad thing.

Camomile tea makes me think of Mom. BLT's make me think of Dad.

I listened to King Crimson "Live 1984" and played "Rebel Assault II" at Justin's. Then came over here to GFM.

11:15 pm ~ Snowmelter... teeters. DJ Dan can't commit the time and isn't available for the 20th gig so there you go. Richard doesn't seem to be able to make rehearsals. I worry about how that will effect the 20th. Twinn backed out of opening for us. I've got Rich Brown's band Saint Rose to open. I'm sure that'll be a bad mix of styles, but what could I do.

Set list for the 20th (not in order)

READY;
Old New
Dorky
Cyndi
Polyamorous
Jonah

NOT READY BUT BAND WANTS TO PLAY;
Spooky
5/4
Red Rocket
Buddy

If St. Rose plays and we get on by 11:00...
Blah, why am I stressing? We almost need a bad gig to deflate peoples illusions of somehow being indestructable. If we aren't prepared it's our own fault. I will be prepared.

Wednesday, July 7, 1999: Four Hours Sleep

Ugh... What a long day.

Richard and I went to Pho at lunch. I talked to the booking agent at the Cameron and she's giving us a spot on July 20, a Tuesday. We'll probably play it with Twin.

The question is can we have enough stuff up and running? We can only have about 5 rehearsals before then.

The second question is will we be a three piece or a four piece? My bet is a three piece... But I won't know until tomorrow.

I finished work at 4:30 pm. I was going to stay later but I only had about 4 hours sleep last night.

Tuesday, July 6, 1999: Feeding Justin's Cat

UGH ~ 9:50 pm. Long day. First of many.

I was up early and went to Justin's to feed his cat, then came back and showered at mine. I picked up some dry cleaning on the way back. I walked into work and was there until 8:30 pm. It was cool out tonight walking home. Nice actually.

Justin phoned from the States today.

I'm just waiting to be served. It's Heather so I may go hungry.

Peter Treen just rode by on a bike. I AM HUNGRY. Only had Kim's Deli for lunch.

GRH wants me to come over to her studio on Thursday. Some CityTV fashion thing is videoing her doing a shoot or something. I don't know why she wants me there though.

Al Beardsell should be finished repairing the Ibanez 2010 "Melancholy Sun" guitar by next week.

Time to go back to Justin's to feed his Cat. His Cat is great.

Monday, July 5, 1999: Hotter?

If it was any hotter... It would be hotter.

9:20 pm. Doing my laundry. Doing anything in this heat is difficult.

Saturday night's DJing went really well. They gave me a 60$ tip which I wasted no time spending on Sunday. It was a brutally long gig though, 3:00 pm until 1:00 am. I was wiped out by the end of it. The humidity rooled in with the heat on thunderstorms.

Sunday I was supposed to meet Cousin Rob at GFM at 11:00 am. I slept in until 11:45 though... I got up and raced over to meet him to find he'd only arrived 10 minutes before me, having slept in as well.

We hung out and had breakfast then decided to walk down to "The Paramount" and see the new Star Wars (again). Each time I see it I like it more. Except for Jar Jar.

Afterwards we walked back up and sat on the patio under "the tent" with Sunniva. Some how a water fight broke out involving Rob, Sandy, Sunniva, April and myself. Later it involved Abbey and Quinn armed with Super-Soakers, a far cry from the plastic lugers of my childhood. I was totally soaked by the end.

Justin stopped by and we had a beer. It felt odd to drink in front of Rob. After we went over to Justin's to watch a video of Rob's stock car bursting into flames during a race.

Justin packed his stuff for the States then we drove down to the Cameron House in Rob's Dad's 1965 Chevy Impala convertable. The hydrolics are out so we unfortunately couldn't lower the ragtop. The car only has a tinny A.M. radio which was perfect since all we could get on it was some old 60's hits channel. Meanwhile every SUV we passed was DWARFED by the length of this Chevy. Justin wondered why all the new cars were playing such shitty music. It's a good question. Do these cars have preset drum-boxes in them? BOOM BA BOOM BA BOOM...

The Cameron wasn't too packed when we arrived. Kevin Quain was playing so I thought it would be cool to subject Rob to that. Three Guiness later I was pretty goofy. We went to Neon Lobster afterwards. We had the hot and sour soup and then drove back up to Bathurst.

Justin went home, Rob left and I stumbled up past partying house-mates.

I'm taking care of Justin's Cat while he is in the States. It is significantly cooler in temperature than my place which is reason to hang out there.

10:30 pm...

My laundry is done. It is + 40 C out. I have drank two milk jugs of water. I have a mild headache either from yesterdays beer, walking in the sun, or playing "Rise of the Triads" on Justin's PC. Or maybe from not eating all day until 9:00 pm. Or most likely...

All of the above.

Saturday, July 3, 1999: Dead Rooster Brunch

12 Noon. Breakfast at the Dead Rooster. Walking by the GFM was difficult. Such a habbit going in there. I feel like a traitor coming here. But it is simply cheaper. Never mind the cups are NEVER clean, and the cuttlery has bits of shit baked on to it and the food isn't half as good as GFM...

12:30. Well... it does have a familiar feel to it. Justin is working as is Bobi-Jo. She's her typically sweet and playful self. Justin wants me to take care of his Cat while he's in the States next week, or to stop by and feed her. Perhaps he should talk to Cyndi before letting me...

12:45. I have to be at the Old Mill to DJ for 3:30 pm which means I have to leave mine by 2:30 which means I have to start getting ready by 1:30 which means i have to leave here by 1:00...