Friday, April 30, 1999: GR300, GRH & GFM

So today I put down some $ on the GR Guitar synth with the blue and yellow boxes. Not that I can afford this. But not that I can afford to not grab them.

I got in an email fight with __________ . She said my tone was "angry"... so I told her I am angry. Angry that she blew me off when she did the way she did. She said "call me". I won't.

Tonight I went out with GRH. We had dinner at GFM and then parked Chico at my place in my apartment then went down to Graffitti's for the Undersirables gig. It was great. This guy named John Brook opened for them and he was absolutely amazing to listen to.

It was a great day though. I felt so good. Is it the spring? The money? Is it just the food in my stomach?

BACK at GFM for my cup of camomile tea.

12:45 am.

It's loud in here. Too much talk. Too much to think.
SO... I have nothing to say.

I almost own another GR300. I have until May 30th to pay off the remaining balance. But work is better and I'm DJing regular.

Thursday, April 29, 1999: 8 Track Meltdown

We (Snowmelter) tried to record music for Wendi's play tonight... And after two hours work Richard's 8 track broke down rendering all our efforts useless. But I don't think what we were doing worked anyways. In fact it sort of sucked. Yikes. What do I tell Wendi?

I'm seriously considering the GR300 at Song Bird. What are the chances of finding a prime condition GR guitar, a 300 and a 100 all together?

So _________ wants me to call her. She's been oddly friendly. But I've been nasty and mean. I am angry at her. Especially since I've seen that photo. Plus I want my stuff back she has.

This weekend will be busy. I have to try and redo this music for Wendi and make a background noise tape for this "circus wedding" on May 8th, plus I DJ Saturday night.

Tuesday, April 27, 1999: Old Film Surfaces

10:40 pm... Okay. There we go. That's better.
I am drunk drunk drunk. It all began way back at 4:00 pm when Chris R who I must say is a generous fellow took Jay and I to Rockit where we consumulated some yummy brews. We sat in the sun of the patio and talked and dranky drank drunk.

Then... at 5:30 pm I walked as quickly as possible to Song Bird at which time Al Beardsell and I had a Guiness.

Anyways after that I came home. Now I am here. So it goes.

Got back a roll of film from Oct/Nov 98... Several nice photos of _______ all snuggled up in bed with silly stuffed dog looking very... satisfied.
Makes me sad... a little.

BUT...

Anyways. I'm not sure what to think. Plus I'm drunk.

Monday, April 26, 1999: Toastie

Well...

The deal didn't come through so today was a write off. I drove my limb and at lunch went with Chris Rogers, Aaron, Jason K, and the guy who dates the Porn star to Rockit. At around 2:00 pm Chris R and I walked over to this place on John St and sat in the sun. We drank and got all toastie. When I got home I dubbed some music.

Last night I went over to Steve and Wendi's. Wendi was practicing her play with Frank. Joanna was there and I hung out with her. After we watched the X-Files we had a coffee at the GFM.

I'm now at GFM. A bunch of guys, one of which is Omen (who I detest) from Al B's old band The Hack-Eyes are talking AND TALKING blah blah blah blah blah blah blah... SHUT THE UP.

I ran into John McFadyen today when i was walking over with Chris R to John St.

Sunday, April 25, 1999: Pancake Hangover

Yikes... I ended up hanging out with April until after close. Until 4:30 am. We talked and talked.

Anyways.

Now I'm at Insomina for some berry pancakes. I'm starving as all I had yesterday was breakfast. Last night I was all drunky drunk. Yikes.

IT'S TOTALLY SUNNY AND NICE OUT...

I'm tempted to go clothes shopping down towards Spadina. I think I will in fact. Walk along Bloor...

mmmmm. Yummy food is here.

I need to figure out a system that will allow me to bypass the 12-second delay with out shutting it off. A mixer/splitter into a volume pedal into the 12-second delay then into the amp while the other line goes straight in? I'll have to mess with it. Basically what I need now is a decent tuner... and a volume pedal for the guitar, a second volume pedal for the 12-second box, a mixer of some sort. A small Mackie clone or something. Of course I can't afford any of this. Still it is nice to think about it.

I'd also like to have a way of running all my sound sources into the 12-second box. The guitar, the GR300, the bass-station, and the Groovebox. That would be cool. I want to take this beyond a sad immitation of Fripp's "Let the Power Fall".

3:00 pm. Time to go.

Saturday, April 24, 1999: The Singles Network Gig

12:30 pm. It's sunny and nice out. I'm at the GFM again. I didn't feel like the walk to Insomnia or the smoke and grease of The Black Rooster. GRH called me this morning but I didn't feel like being around anyone really. I DJ tonight at 7:30 pm which is better than a wedding gig since those always start at 4:00 or 5:00 pm. The gig is walking distance which is good, and Rod said "take the music home"... I guess they have a sound system there. I can make a mix tape for Anne tomorrow.

It is packed in here. Sunni and Sandy are doing a swing shift. They've turned this place into something amazing. There are plants, it's bright, and it's sort of like being at your favourite Aunt's place. The music is good and the food is unbelievable and if you are lucky Tiff will be drunk enough to hug you.

There's a poster Sandy made when Sunni was away that has a black and white photo of Sunni and says "I love Sunniva... when will she return?". The fridge is covered in photos of dogs, cats and several of Sunni, as well as one of Nathan and the regular who is the brainiack guy who's name I don't know.

Some kid beside me just hit my arm and his hand was covered in... food I'm hoping...

1:00 pm. I should split soon. Take a walk somewhere or maybe just go home and sit on the porch with the guitar.

Food Paw Kid is leaving with his Dad. He's got the big brown eyes and uses them like I did at that age. Sunniva and Sandy are fussy over him and he's loving it.

Red Sonya of the Victory Cafe circa 1991 days just came in. She reminds me of Anne. It's strange that Paul Kellogg owner of the Victory refused to open on weekends for brunch because he felt there wasn't enough business to justify it.

6:15 pm.

Rod dropped off the music to me. I'm not looking forward to this gig at all. I'm not sure why. I guess it's just the regular pile of music to play. But still...

I think I'll use a cab to get to this gig I don't feel like lugging that box of CDs on the subway. I have to be there for 7:30 pm so I'd best drink my tea and go home and get ready and go man go. HERE WE GO!

1:00 am.

My God, that was brutal. It was held in this Karoke bar and I swear there was only about 20 people that showed up. I played a lot of stuff I liked at the end when everyone had left. I'm glad that's over.

I finished up at 12:30 then the Karoke Queen broke out the laser-disc and the real festivities began. I got a cab back to the GFM for a glass of red.
It's the regulars. I'm dressed up.

YAWN. Soon I can sleep.

Angel of the Lord. Pick me up and carry me home.
4:17 am.

Friday, April 23, 1999: Inventory or Yummy

I met Toby for lunch at Pho. It was a good meal. We talked about her situation with Rob.

JL called me and I phoned her back. She says she's moving out but not breaking up with Goat-Boy. He says he'll "get help". Blah.

Sid-Six tonight at the Elmo.

Tomorrow I DJ at this "single's network" thing. I'm sure that will be interesting.
"Glory Box" by Portishead is playing. What an amazing piece of music.

9:00 pm at GFM

I just had carrot ginger soup. yum. Tiff is here. Yummy.
Sandy is squirting a watergun shapped like a pink hippo at me. Tiff says "Don't you'll ruin his writing."

9:20 pm... Time to go soon.

12:35 am I'm back.

The band that opened up for Sid-Six really annoyed me. They sounded like every bad 80's band I've ever heard. Tuneless vocals and hair gel posturing. It was dreadful.

Sid-Six was good. They didn't play any of their songs I really like though. "Wallflower", "Spacemobile" and a new song called "Spider" were the ones that stood out.

Now I am back at the GFM for a glass of red wine and a BLT. Good combo!
The beer I had at Sid-Six mixes with the red and I'm getting drunk.

Sandy has great legs. and smile.

Tiff who is truly outstanding to behold is here with some guy with very unfortunate hair.

ME TONIGHT.
in my green wool cap, black Rodin sweater, wooly lamb fuzzy jacket, black cargos, Van runners.

ON MY WALKMAN.
a mix tape featuring; The Chemical Brothers, Lamb, Beastie Boys, Doop, Air, Hossam Ramzy, Bowie, Gandarvas, Cypress Hill, Trio, Dead Can Dance, and William Shatner singing a brutal version of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds".

IN MY BACKPACK.
my SNOWMELTER notebook, this journal (not now), my big green notebook, some cj stuff, a phone bill, some scrap paper, a pen.

IN MY POCKETS.
my keys on the tiny etch a sketch key chain that ELB gave me for xmas in 1997, a key for the front door, a key for my door, and a key for my desk.

a used kleenex, a five dollar bill, my wallet that Bruce made me when I was a kid.

INSIDE MY WALLET.
My SIN card, my birth certificate card, my Sunrise Records card, my expired Festival Cinema card, my OHIP card, a Pho Hoa card with a calendar, a plastic laminated card with a picture of Jesus and the Virgin Mary that GRH gave me, 3 half-used Second Cup coffee cards, an HMV Club card, a metropass ID card from 1994, another HMV card, 10 Maximum Music cards, one condom, 2 TD Green Machine cards, Arielle's card, a time-text planning card, a photo of Mom, a photo of The Bean a book of matches.

MY GOD, TIFF JUST CAME OVER and checked out my drawing and got a glimpse of my comment about her being "yummy". She hugged me. Truly yummy.

2:00 am. Tiff is gone. Lingered and hugged me again. Then lingered. Then left. UGH.

Thursday, April 22, 1999: 12 Seconds

I actually went in today. It was pointless though. They say the new deal starts tomorrow.

I spent the evening playing with the 12-second delay. Making soundscapes and loops. To be able to loop and build up a soundscape like that is amazing.

Spring. Things feel new.

Wednesday, April 21, 1999: Tax Refund

At Juice For Life.

Feel pretty good today. I had the most amazing sleep last night. Incrediably restful and warm. Woke up with a nosebleed unfortunately.

The big bonus today was a $1800 cheque from Revenue Canada. Hurray. Plus depositing my $ from Saturday... Not bad.

I ending up having coffee with Cyndi.

11:00 pm GFM.

I had dinner at Broom Boy tonight with GRH. She was in a good mood. She's finished her first TV advert. It was nice to hang out with her. Nice in that way that is typical only to GRH. The GRH I met when I was 18. We walked back to back to my place where her car was parked and talked for a bit while Chico ran up the block whizzing away.

MESSAGES from...

JL...
Kim A...
and Wendi.
I haven't returned any of them yet. Nor have I returned DJ Dan's call although I have to soon. As I DJ on Saturday night. Garbage night.

LM just walked by holding hands with The Laundry Mat King. Seems Happy. Good for her I guess. Still I pity him. Or maybe he knows what he's in for.

It's raining now. I like it though since it is that warm Ontario rain (Not the freezing B.C. Rain).

I feel so at ease today. Maybe it is the $1800.

Some students in the USA went on a pipebomb and shooting rampage killing 12 at some high school. Scary.

Monday, April 19, 1999: Snowmelter Debut in Review

Well... What can I say? Last night's show was a huge success. We played extremely well, we were well received and Cyndi was drunk enough to hug and kiss me say "Oh I love you..."

The place was pretty full. Who was there from our crew? - Doris from Black Rooster, Rob and Toby, Linda, Justin's Mom and his Brother Jeremy.

GRH had said she'd show but didn't as well as DJ Dan.

It was the best feeling gig I've ever had. Playing-wise it was about 85% although it had moments that were about 150% especially on "Jonah" and "Cyndi on Sunday".

Today I slept in until noon. Cyndi asked I come over so I did. We watched some MST 3000 with Nathan then talked. She's going to Saskatchewan on Thursday for a week. It was strange saying goodbye tonight. Very strange. Opposite of last night.

Oh well. I know the dance with her. I'll pull away, she chases. I stop and she runs away. Over and over until I explode. Boring. I am not going to stress any further about her.

Sunday, April 18, 1999: Preparing to Play

11:50 am at the GFM.

I didn't feel like going to the Rooster and sitting in all that cigerette smoke. I woke up with a sore throat and a head full of snot perfectly timed for tonight's performance. I also woke up starving as if I hadn't eaten for days.

Last night's DJing was lack-luster. They didn't have much spirit in them. The bride was really fat and went on endlessly about how you can find the man of your dreams blah blah blah. Yikes. No passion when they kissed. She didn't strike me as having much passion except for dessert. Anyways Rod picked me up. Kelly is fiance was with him.

12:30 pm. My gut is still aching. I should do laundry. I haven't anything clean to wear tonight. But then again... Do I care? I really just want to go up and play in any old thing. I think the reason I dread these things is because of the long day of set up and mucking about. I'm not in the mood. But. I have to be. Maybe I need another tow hours of sleep. Richard F will be over by 3:00 pm. I have that long to prepare myself.

Saturday, April 17, 1999: Upcoming Gigs

I woke up at 8:30 am this morning. I kept falling back to sleep and waking up every half hour until 11:00 am when I finally got up. I had lots of weird dreams last night but now I can't focus on what they were.

I'm at the Black Rooster waiting on my breakfast. It would appear that the brunch bunch is no more. I think that Toby's 30th birthday was the last harrah of that group with her moving/breaking up with Rob...

Justin M is in at 12:00ish. I have to give him the tickets for Sunday's show. It sounds like he'll have at least four or five people out. I'll only have one or two that I know of. Richard F will have only Linda. I am nervous about playing guitar and singing in front of people. The other thing is that the music we're doing is sort of delicately balanced. If Richard F is too loud or Justin get's thrown off balance due to having a mic in front of him... Oh well. I can't control any of that. All I can do is try to be solid on what I'm doing.

Playing "Cyndi on Sunday" infront of Cyndi might be sort of a nervie thing to do. One good thing is that I'm not dreading this gig as I did with so many of the Lorne gigs.

I am dreading DJing tonight. Although I know once I am doing it I'll be fine. I don't know why I dread these DJ gigs. But it's a chance to play some disco really loud...

I haven't heard from JL since our last date. I've left several messages with no response. I'm assuming that Goat-Boy is intercepting them and deleting them before she hears them. At least I hope that's it. Maybe she's too busy with moving etc.

ONLY TIME WILL TELL.

As for going to Manila... At this point I think I'll until November. I have to say I love the thought of getting away from here the same way I got away from B.C. in 1984. Just up and leave.

Friday, April 16, 1999: Recording Buddy

6:40 pm at the Grape Fruit Moon.

I am super hungry but can't decide what I want to eat. Sunny and Sandy are working... It is still light out as we move towards summer. The weather has been totally confused. The two other waiteresses and a friend of theirs are sitting at the counter laughing.

A message from DJ Dan was on my phone machine when I got home. She left her new home number. She wants info on Sunday night's Snowmelter gig at "Top of the Market". The Snowmelter debut. GRH also left a message once she got back from her trip on Monday but I haven't heard back from her since.

I've been enjoying playing Chris' Strat. What a beautiful guitar. Work is dull. I walk there and back almost every day.

Tiff was here. Now that is an attractive girl. I saw her here on Tuesday and Thursday. She just left and gave me a big smile. Sunny just came over and said "Are you okay?" I said "Who was that?" She answered Tiffany. Then announced "Lorne's got a crush on Tiffany!!"

I said "Actually I have a crush on everyone..."

Sunny said "Even me?"

I said "Especially you" and she blushed.

7:00 pm. I had lasagna and salad. Yum. That is what I wanted. Now I await my apple pie.

7:30 pm. It's starting to rain. I should go home and record for a bit. Come back here later for a camomile tea.

11:55 pm. I recorded a 4 track version of "Buddy". It's weird - the main guitar part is this Adrian Belewish thing, the drums are slowed down disco, the bass is total Wire/Colin Newman and there's this strange little strummy guitar part... I had trouble recording the vocals as all my mic cords are screwed. I definately need to restock cords etc.